


where is my mind ?

by sw33th3art



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Band Fic, Bisexuality, Canon Compliant, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Forbidden Love, Gay, Love/Hate, M/M, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Multi, Other, Polyamory, Slow Burn, Smut, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 17:34:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29354277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sw33th3art/pseuds/sw33th3art
Summary: A non magical Marauders era band au. Mostly canon compliant, has a few OCs.DISCLAIMER: I do not support JK Rowling
Relationships: Alice Longbottom/Frank Longbottom, Andromeda Black Tonks/Ted Tonks, Arthur Weasley/Molly Weasley, Bellatrix Black Lestrange/Rodolphus Lestrange, Hestia Jones/James Potter, Hestia Jones/Marlene McKinnon, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Lucius Malfoy/Narcissa Black Malfoy, Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes, Mary Macdonald/Evan Rosier, Pandora Lovegood/Xenophilius Lovegood, Sirius Black & Remus Lupin & Peter Pettigrew & James Potter, Sirius Black/James Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Kudos: 4





	where is my mind ?

**Author's Note:**

> Hiiiiiiiiii  
> This is my first fic posted please be nice lol  
> I'm gonna update whenever I feel like it, maybe in a steady stream depending whether people actually read this  
> Hope you enjoy Chapter 1  
> :)))))))

**_With your feet on the air and your head on the ground_ **   
**_Try this trick and spin it, yeah_ **   
**_Your head will collapse_ **   
**_But there's nothing in it_ **

  
**_..._ **

Sirius Black had found himself more inclined to stare at possible love interests now that he was considered a public icon. He found himself staring at members of the audience's ass as he strummed the strings of his Inca Silver 50s Fender Stratocaster, and he also found that he wasn’t mad about it. The only part he did find rather confusing, was the fact that he was staring at men. He had never thought of himself as anything other than straight, he’d fucked plenty of women over the course of his young adult years, but it seemed only recently that he had suddenly developed a fondness for dick. Not that there was a problem with that, he knew plenty of gay people and he didn’t have a problem with their lifestyle, he just never thought it for him. That was of course, until he spotted Charlie Hart in the backstage area of the gig that he had been attending three months ago.

Charlie Hart was in fact, a male. Probably in his early twenties, although Sirius never actually asked. Charlie and him had exchanged limited words in the first week, even though Sirius made an effort to attend every single gig that his band played. His new romantic interest was the drummer of a highly commended band in the area called Howlers, and over the past few months, due to his relationship with Charlie, Sirius found his own misfit band now thrown into the spotlight. Sure it was a flickering, yellow tinted spotlight placed in the corner of a downtown bar, but at least they were now known as ‘the band with Charlie Harts boyfriend’.

Tonight Charlie hadn’t been able to come to the bar that Sirius’ band was playing at, and so while on stage, he had to settle his nerves by staring at random strangers rather than his own boyfriend. It wasn’t like that was an issue though, they had agreed on an open relationship. It was hard to be exclusive when, in Charlie’s case, you had a camera and thousands of other men trailing you. Although Sirius hadn’t slept with many other people during the three months he had been with Charlie, as much as he tried he just didn’t think it right to sleep with one person while the other isn’t there. He wasn’t opposed to threesomes, just poly relationships that were too one sided.

His mind did tend to drift to thinking about Charlie when he was on stage. He found his fingers almost slipping off the strings and his voice cracked in places it never usually does. He was less focused when he had to actually focus on Charlie. When he knew he was in the crowd, it was much easier for him to play. So nights like tonight were slightly harder for him.

“Sirius.” He whipped his head up at the sound of his name, turning to find his bandmate Hestia staring at him intensely. “Last song, you ready?”  
Sirius didn’t say anything, just flashed her a grin before sliding his fingers along the frets, playing the songs riff in response. She smiled in return and turned her body towards the microphone set up in front of her.

“Sup fuckers,” Hestia’s voice echoed across the bar, attracting attention of both men and women from all around the room. That was one of the perks of having her in the band, the other was her insane talent. “I’m Hestia, next to me here is Sirius, back there on the drums is James and on the bass is Peter. We’re The Marooners and we wanna thank you for either coming out to listen to us tonight or withstanding our music while you hook up with strangers. We’ve got one more for you, hope you enjoy. Take it away James.”

On her cue James counted them in, and then they were performing again. Hestia sang through the first verse and chorus alone and Sirius waited for his cue patiently. They had rehearsed this song thousands of times before, it was his favourite. Everything about it made him insanely, ridiculously happy; in some ways it reminded him of Charlie. And so when it was Sirius’ turn to step up to his microphone and sing his verse, he sang to the empty space where Charlie would be next week.

_**...** _

“Fuck Pads, where did that come from?” Sirius felt the arm of his best friend around his shoulder before he could see him and he grabbed James’ arm to wrestle him onto the couch. They had made it back to the bands shared apartment about ten minutes ago, and none of them had spoken until they had all showered and put the instruments away. One of many rules they’d put in place.

“I don’t know man, I was just singing.” Sirius had James head-locked and was whispering in his ear an all too familiar phrase of the game.

Peter watched eerily from his place on the floor; he never sat on a lounge, there was never any space in their small flat. “I didn’t notice a difference.”

“Oh of course you didn’t Petey,” Hestia had walked into the room and spoke as she flopped backwards on the lounge next to the two boys who were still being head-locked and head-locker. “I think he was thinking of Charlie’s dick and that’s why he sounded so soft.”

Sirius let out what sounded like a choking sound and James used his shock as a chance to escape the headlock.

“Fucker I win that one!” He cried as he settled back into the pillows and kicked his feet up on their dusty coffee table that only housed broken guitar picks and single drumsticks that had lost their pair.

Sirius grunted and also laid back. Hestia stuck her tongue out and threw him a bag of chips he didn’t even see her bring in the room.

“Where was Charlie tonight anyway?” James asked, grabbing the chips from where they had landed in Sirius’ lap and prompting a response.

“I already told you, he had a band thing on tonight.”

“What kind of band thing?”

“Dunno, he didn’t say.” Sirius grabbed the chips back and James looked at him with a strange look. “What?”

“Don’t you think that’s strange? He usually tells you where he is.”

Sirius shrugged and continued eating. “He doesn’t have to tell me everything.”

“He’s probably out cheating,” Peter quipped from his spot on the floor, and within seconds he felt a shoe hit the back of his head. “Ouch!”

“Shut it Peter, no one asked you.” Hestia glared at him for a few long seconds, then turned her attention back to the other boys. “He probably just had a new record meeting. Something with a confidentiality agreement and shit.”

Sirius just nodded his head and murmured in agreement, both of them trying to avoid another argument between Hestia and Peter. There had been tension between the two of them ever since he had tried to hook up with her at a party two weeks ago. Both of them were quite persistent in arguments while sober, and when they were a little more than slightly on the drunk side the arguments became fist fights. Peter had come out of the fight much worse off than she had, and now he looked for any opportunity to rile her up for round two. James and Sirius had been spending the time since trying to work out how to get them both over it although that task proved more difficult than they thought it would be.

They never enjoyed doing it, but this time it was James who took one for the team and attempted to diffuse the awkward tension first.

“Hey Hes.”

“Yeah?”

He repositioned himself on the lounge so his his head was leaning against her shoulder and pulled Sirius down onto his lap (in a totally no homo way). “Are Alice and Pan coming over tomorrow?”

She shook her head slowly. “Probably not. Pan has a date and Alice just joined a new band so they’re practising for their first gig all day.”

“Oh what band?” Sirius tilted his head back slightly so she could see his face through his long black hair that he had taken out of its bun.

“I don’t remember the name,” she said. “But it’s Marls is in the band so surely they’re alright.”

“Oh no. Not Marlene. How could we possibly compete with a band that has the almighty Marlene McKinnon in it.” James flung his hand up to his forehead dramatically and started pretending to cry. “If only we could somehow steal one of their members.”

He dropped his hand and winked playfully at Hestia.

She shoved him, laughing. “I left because she told me to go, not because you’re any better than she is.”

His hand flew to his heart as he acted distraught. “I really thought I was your favourite drummer Hes. I’m hurt.”

“You’re alright I suppose,” she shrugged, and Sirius started laughing.

Sirius had a contagious laugh, and despite the fatal tension in the room between Hestia and Peter, who was still sitting silently on the floor, soon they were all laughing hysterically together.

_**...** _

It was three in the morning before any of them decided to go to bed That’s how it always was after gigs, they were all too hyped up to sleep. Usually Peter was the first to crash, but tonight James stood up at exactly three thirteen to announce that he was off to bed. By the time he had said goodnight to Hestia and Peter and torn himself away from Sirius, it was three twenty seven. The three remaining bandmates sat in silence for another ten minutes or so before Peter decided to sleep as well, leaving Sirius and Hestia alone on the couch.

“Do you miss her?” Sirius asked after a few more moments of uninvited silence.

Hestia didn’t bother to look at him, just stared at the poster covered wall across from her as she replied. “Sometimes.”

“I don’t mean just playing in her band, you know?” He was looking at her, analysing her reaction to his question.

She could hear the sincerity in his voice, maybe that was what compelled her to close her eyes and say, “Yeah. Yeah I know.”

Sirius wasn’t an idiot, so he didn’t say anything after that. Instead they just sat there, in silence once more, both pondering the success of the band of the one they love. They were so similar in their relationships.

Sirius and Hestia.

The only difference between them was that Sirius’ love, loved him back. In kisses of fire and gazes of scorch marks. Hestia’s returning love was only just warm. And she had learnt there’s no passion in a lukewarm love. For it to work, it had to be either burning, or burnt out.

Twenty minutes passed. And both bandmates laid in silence until Sirius yawned.

“I’d better crash,” he whispered.

“Yeah.” Hestia nodded. “Yeah, me too.”

He smiled at her and they both got up to walk to their rooms. They had almost reached their separate doorways when Sirius called out.

“Oi Hes.”

She turned slightly, arching an eyebrow.

“By the way,” he grinned mischievously. “Charlie’s dick doesn’t make me soft. In fact, it does quite the opposite. Sometimes I have to pad it too, to keep it hidden.”

Hestia choked on the air that she was breathing and struggled to keep in her laugh so she wouldn’t wake James and Peter. Sirius chuckled quietly and turned to walk into his room.

“Goodnight Pads,” she called, and Sirius grinned.

“Goodnight Hes.”

_**...** _

  
_**And you'll ask yourself** _   
_**Where is my mind?** _


End file.
